Let Jesus steal your heart

St. Valentine’s Day is upon us. What was once a day dedicated to the love and sacrifice of a Roman martyr has now become little more than another excuse for every imaginable retailer to sell you heart shaped crap at an inflated price. 

 If that weren’t bad enough, anyone who is without a significant other will be reminded of that fact with every glance at a television screen, web browser or store window.

Sounds like fun, right?

As an un-married twenty-something Catholic woman, I have to say I’ve been there (somewhat). I’ve lived just almost 24 years of my life without a man to buy me roses, chocolate or (thankfully) Jane Seymour’s Open Heart.

You know I love you, Dr. Quinn, but your necklace makes me ill.

 

Now for the first time in my life I have a boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s day with. Peachy keen, right? As in, all the longings of my soul and questions of my worth and existence are fulfilled in this one man because that’s what the commercials on TV tell me. Right?

Wrong.

So wrong.

I recently had to face this twisted idea head on when I was feeling particularly worthless and giving into all kinds of Satanic lies about the value of my existence. I’d like to blame my weakened defenses on the emotional instability I was experiencing thanks to the fact that I’m a female, but in reality I just wasn’t turning to God enough with these questions.

Instead, I turned to a man who, although he is kind, compassionate, virtuous, courageous and charming (among other things), is not God. So as I sat in the car weeping and asking him why he was dating me, I became frustrated that no matter what he told me it wasn’t enough.

(In fact, he even told me that very same thing -very kindly- himself, but I was too busy falling into the depths of my despair to hear what he was trying to say.)

A Skype call to my sisters in Rome, lots of prayer, (another) good cry and a jarring conversation with a no-nonsense roommate later, I could see the trap that had been set for me.

It was the same one that had been set when I started a new job, whenever I tried to make new friends,  when I went off to college and countless other times; that this thing will give you worth. How well you perform in this will tell you how good you are. These people will tell you how much you are loved.

Lies. Straight from the pit of hell.

No matter how amazing one’s boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/friend/job/house/bank account/ whatever is, it will never fully satisfy our soul’s longing for intimacy and affirmation. There’s only One who can do that. And all He asks is that we love Him with our whole heart. 

So, no matter what state of vocational, marital or employment status you find yourself in this Valentine’s Day, remember that nothing can satisfy our hearts like God can. Take this day to pray for the grace to turn to Him with the same zeal that caused that Roman to forsake his own life for Christ so many centuries ago.

My (earthly, Holy & Heavenly) Father

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” -Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est 

Pope Benedict XVI. (CNA file photo)

 

Last week I had a terrible dream that my dad was terminally ill. I chalked it up to nothing more than my occasional anxiety about such things and the fact that my siblings and I are no longer children and my parents are therefore no longer young adults.

It wasn’t so much the dream itself – the only thing I really remembered was the knowledge that, “Dad is sick.” The thing that bothered me the most was the fear of what my life would be like when my earthly father does pass away. 

I called him just to hear his voice while I looked at a picture on my nightstand of him cradling me in his arms at my baptism. He reassured me that he was fine and that we’ll get together for lunch this week.

It scared me because I realized that I will be shaken to the core when my parents are gone. My family is my rock and foundation that I can return to when the outside world bears down too hard. They are the ones who share in my joys just as much as my sorrows. They are the ones who made me who I am.

Understandably, the thought of losing one’s parents would be saddening to anyone. But what struck me even more deeply after telling God about this was how much I relied on others, even my family, more than Him. 

Of course, as children of God, we are the hands and feet of Christ while on earth. This means we are called to love and serve others as representatives of Christ, allowing Him to work through us so that “it is not I who lives, but Christ.”  But how often, do we give our praise, admiration and attention to the “hands and feet” rather than to Whom they belong?

So now, with the news of the retirement of our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, many Catholics are left with shock and sadness – I know that was my own impression upon hearing the news this morning.

But let us remember that although we love and revere our dear Papa Benedict, he is simply the Vicar of Christ. Any reverence or affection that we have for the Pope is a result of his resemblance to the One he serves.

I think it’s fitting that Pope Benedict is stepping down during this Year of Faith and just as Lent begins. The act of humbly admitting (and drawing attention to) one’s own human frailty speaks volumes not only to Benedict’s God-given virtue, but also to his total and complete reliance on Our Heavenly Father – a beautiful example that all of us should pray to have the grace to follow.

 Pope St. Celestine, pray for us!

(virtual) March for Life

"For God is not unjust so as to overlook the love you have demonstrated by having served and continuing to serve the holy ones. We earnestly desire each if you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of hope until the end ..." Heb. 6:10-11

This week marked not only 40 years of legalized abortion in America, but also 40 years of those who recognize women deserve better than abortion.

This week, I mourn my 55 million countrymen who have lost their lives, but also rejoice in those who have worked tirelessly to let the fathers and mothers know that there are alternatives to the pain, confusion and, often times, despair an unplanned pregnancy can seem to bring.

Let us continue to encourage those who find themselves alone when pregnant by reminding them that even in times when everyone else has become their enemy, a woman's unborn child is always her most faithful ally.

                                                           ...

Snow begins to fall as pro-life marchers walk up Constitution Avenue in Washington D.C. during the 2013 March for Life. Credit: Addie Mena/CNA. Copyright © 2012 Catholic News Agency. All rights reserved.

 As I sat in my Denver office today, I was encouraged the most by the Twitter feed I followed using the hashtag #MarchforLife. Normally, I avoid social media commentary like the plague (seriously - have you ever glimpsed at a comment board on a major news story?), especially when it has to do with anything controversial, such as abortion. Behind their computer screens or cell phones, people tend to be just downright nasty and rude.

Today, however, there was a constant stream of images of young people smiling despite the snow and words of encouragement for babies and moms. What better day to work  for Catholic media than today?

These are rockin' blogs

My friend Francine nominated my blog for an award, so I decided to return the favor.

Check out these sweet blogs (with 200 followers or less-- what, are people crazy?):

Francine @ Beautiful, Sweet Life (Her sister Justine was my roommate-- and is one of my besty friends-- so sometimes I got to talk to Francine's baby on skype, thankfully now she has a blog about her fam. All I can say is lol.)

Emily @ Just Weird Enough (the only thing better than reading the stories on Emily's blog is having her tell them to you in person. Her sister Grace is like the Godfather of Catholic blogs because if she links your post on her blog, you automatically get a million visits)

Jenny @ Mama Needs Coffee (she's my sister and is super brilliant and witty concerning all things Catholic & counter-cultural, so, you know, that's a lot to live up to)

Lizzie @ Do You Live in a Rock? (she's also my sister and is really funny and crafty, also hard to live up to)

Cool girl @ Life in the Gap (umm, I don't actually know her name and feel like a total creeper, but we must have some common blog buddies b/c I somehow found her blog about being single and Catholic and really love it. We should be real life friends some day).

the rules:

a. choose 5 up and coming blogs with less than 200 followers to give the award to (Opps, did I cheat by linking multiple blogs in one entry?)
b. show your thanks to the blogger who awarded you by linking back to them
c. post the award on your blog
d. list the blogs you gave the award to by linking on your site. Leave a comment on their blogs to let them know you awarded them. (Nah, they'll figure it out)
e. list 5 random facts about yourself. (there's already enough weird stuff about me on here. No need to know more at this time.)

Sometimes you just gotta suck it up

After attending the world's most depressing Theology on Tap the other evening, I was going to write a post about how there is empirical evidence that right now really is a crappy time to be a single lady in search of a good man.

It would have sounded something like, "Waaah, wah wah. It's society's fault I'm single," or, "Boo hoo, I have so many problems," or even, "Noo, now I have to adopt cats and raise them as my family."

Then I realized that I probably wouldn't even be my friend after reading such a shameless display of self-pity.

But concern for social acceptance aside, I realized I really was thinking like a self-centered little snot.

You see, life is never just sunshine and lollipops (or a perpetual honeymoon as I imagine married life to be). It is work, no matter what one's marital status is. Yes, it is often filled with great joy, but right alongside that is pain and suffering.

Yesterday, as I was thinking out my pity party post, a friend of mine found out his friend's father passed away just a few months before his son was to be ordained a priest.

And there I was, trying to come up with witty ways of using cultural woes to explain away my marital status. (Please insert lengthy eye-roll here)

So, yes, it is hard to be a Catholic single woman in such a secular culture. And yes, it does often seem like men who share my values and morals don't exist (or are already taken or are not interested). But, at the same time, it's always going to be hard to be a Catholic anything in this world. Priest, Nun, Parent, Spouse, you name it.

You see, as Christians, we are not made to find prefect ease and comfort on this earth (I mean, I still want to just spend my life sitting by the pool drinking wine while listening to a live orchestra play Beethoven, but Heaven will infinitely more awesome even than that).

We know that this life is fleeting and just a preparation for eternity. We are given this time to fight and  prepare ourselves for Heaven. And God gives us the opportunity to do that everyday of our lives, with whatever he puts in front of us.

As Papa B said, "The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort; you were made for greatness."

 

You said it, Papa B.

So, on the one hand, I could just give up and give in to our culture's dating standards. It would be much quicker and easier to find someone for sure.

On the other hand, I could suck it up and just enjoy being single while it lasts, knowing all the while that I'm saying no to instant gratification now for the sake of a deeper and more lasting joy later.