Thursday, April 19, 2012

Sometimes you just gotta suck it up

After attending the world's most depressing Theology on Tap the other evening, I was going to write a post about how there is empirical evidence that right now really is a crappy time to be a single lady in search of a good man.

It would have sounded something like, "Waaah, wah wah. It's society's fault I'm single," or, "Boo hoo, I have so many problems," or even, "Noo, now I have to adopt cats and raise them as my family."

Then I realized that I probably wouldn't even be my friend after reading such a shameless display of self-pity.

But concern for social acceptance aside, I realized I really was thinking like a self-centered little snot.

You see, life is never just sunshine and lollipops (or a perpetual honeymoon as I imagine married life to be). It is work, no matter what one's marital status is. Yes, it is often filled with great joy, but right alongside that is pain and suffering.

Yesterday, as I was thinking out my pity party post, a friend of mine found out his friend's father passed away just a few months before his son was to be ordained a priest.

And there I was, trying to come up with witty ways of using cultural woes to explain away my marital status. (Please insert lengthy eye-roll here)

So, yes, it is hard to be a Catholic single woman in such a secular culture. And yes, it does often seem like men who share my values and morals don't exist (or are already taken or are not interested). But, at the same time, it's always going to be hard to be a Catholic anything in this world. Priest, Nun, Parent, Spouse, you name it.

You see, as Christians, we are not made to find prefect ease and comfort on this earth (I mean, I still want to just spend my life sitting by the pool drinking wine while listening to a live orchestra play Beethoven, but Heaven will infinitely more awesome even than that).

We know that this life is fleeting and just a preparation for eternity. We are given this time to fight and  prepare ourselves for Heaven. And God gives us the opportunity to do that everyday of our lives, with whatever he puts in front of us.

As Papa B said, "The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort; you were made for greatness."

You said it, Papa B.

So, on the one hand, I could just give up and give in to our culture's dating standards. It would be much quicker and easier to find someone for sure.

On the other hand, I could suck it up and just enjoy being single while it lasts, knowing all the while that I'm saying no to instant gratification now for the sake of a deeper and more lasting joy later.


  1. I would really love to sit by a pool with you right now while drinking wine and listening to a live orchestra play are GREAT.

    1. Jackie, I would like nothing more than that. Maybe throw in some 19th Century British literature and we'd be set!

  2. Clearly, you already know this, but sometimes it's worth hearing from others -- the wait is definitely worth it! I did not date until a few months before turning 27, and now a couple of months after turning 28 I will be getting married. Culture says it's crazy to wait, to potentially only date one man, etc., but despite all of the times I questioned my sanity, eligibility, etc., I can say I don't regret the wait one bit. It's refreshing to see someone else with the same mindset.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Emily! It's definitely easier said than done, so I appreciate hearing about your experience. I often think I might be a little bit insane, so it's good to know I'm not the only one! And, congratulations!