Sunday, April 8, 2012

Sometimes I just go with the flow

I didn't want to admit this, but I feel I must. I am passive.

Very passive.

Pretty much up until just a few months ago, my whole life was just planned out and I followed it accordingly.

 Go to grade school, pass grade school. Go to middle school, survive middle school. Go to high school, graduate high school. Go to college, pay for college, graduate college. 

This kind of routine and monotony can be very, very comforting to a phlegmatic melancholic like myself.

However, at the same time, it can be unimaginably debilitating when faced with things like, oh I don't know, life. Imagine living life as someone else tells you until they stop telling you what you need to do. Then what?

Then you live on your parents fold-out couch for 3 (ok, more like 5-- fine, it was actually 6 if you include Christmas, but who would move during Christmas anyway?) months after graduation while working at the same job you've had since your freshman year of college. Then you have a series of emotional breakdowns (about once a month, then becoming more frequent until you move out) because you feel like a failure at life but are at the same time terrified about living on your own and falling flat on your face.

Or at least that's how it was for me.

Then, thankfully, God reassures you of his plan for your welfare by dropping a job that you love in your lap via your sainted brother-in-law.

Wait, you might argue, this job just fell in your lap? How does that help you try to be more assertive with life?

Well, that's what I thought at first too. Then I realized that I just needed to swallow my pride and thank the good Lord for his divine intervention in my life. Yes, I had to admit, I need help in my life and I am not always in control.

And that is a good thing because if I was, I'd probably still be on Mom and Dad's couch.

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